I met a blog friend back in December. Her writing is fun, lighthearted, and about stuff I enjoy reading . . . you know, the everyday life of a mom and her baby. She sews and knits and we share a mutual passion for our sewing machines.
In February she shared the news of a baby on the way, and though filled with health concerns and uncertain about the timing her joy and her anticipation for this new life was beautiful and selfless. A month later when Hubs and I learned of our own little baby on the way she inspired me with her courage and faith, dependent on God to be in control of her miracle and trusting that in spite of her health concerns His plan was perfect.
We've enjoyed comparing notes and following each other's pregnancies, have shared sewing projects, and I've admired her extraordinary knitting abilities. She sent me Preggie Pops when I was struggling with nausea (those things really work!) and I sent her vintage knitting books full of children's patterns from the 1940s. I can't believe how often she blogs stuff that seems like it could come from my head. She is an encourager, always one to leave positive, caring, sometimes humorous words. I've grown to appreciate and care about her and when her blog updates in my Bloglines she's one of the first three I read.
We returned home late last night and I checked in on some favorite reads while I chowed a bowl of cereal before bed. Her blog had something new! I went there first. At the first line I literally felt my head swim and my breath catch. A voice in my head was saying, "NO,no,no,no,no!" as I tried to re-read it several times wanting to understand it differently.
Something went wrong and Kate's precious baby is in heaven this morning. And I grieve deeply with her. For my friend. For her husband. For their sweet baby. For their dreams. For their family. It makes no sense and her pain is beyond anything I can imagine. How can so much change in one day?
We all work so hard to maintain private boundaries in the internet relationships we build- a buffer of protection. We respect the boundaries of others, keep our distance, and try not to seem like "stalkers". We don't divulge personal info we may know about another blogger. We use certain words sparingly to avoid drawing negative attention. In times like this, though, I wish that all bets could be off and that all these unspoken rules could be voided so that I could cry with her, offer support and encouragement, to be leaned on, to do the things for her that I would do for a friend who lives here in Small Town that would probably seem stalkerish to do on the internet.
I will end up doing all those things in my heart anyway but I will also pray. Often and much. My heart is with you, Kate. At times like this I scarcely even know what words to pray as the whole situation seems so impossible to understand. But He knows. He wept for the loss of His own child and I know He weeps with us too.
Please join your prayers with mine and just maybe we can help bear this burden in her heart. Leave your words of encouragement and prayer on her blog.
