In keeping with this week's new routine we were up, fed, and dressed by 9:30am. Okay, the kids were, I was not because in between getting them up, dressed, and fed I was the one actually making them breakfast and cleaning it up, starting the dishwasher, making the beds, straightening up their rooms, starting a load of laundry, and then wrestling clothes onto the youngest's wild, wiggling tentacles while she screamed loudly with much screaming. My goal was to make it to the 10:45am showing of "Cars" at the local flicks.
I hopped in the shower at 9:45 thinking, Yeah, I can just hop in and out and we'll be out the door in thirty minutes. I've got my morning routine shaved down to nearly twenty minutes on a good day. It doesn't take long to fix hair that is chin length and the consistency of frog fur and when the wardrobe is limited to a couple pairs of elastic panel pants and a few shirts getting dressed isn't the beauty pageant that it used to be. What I didn't account for in our by-the-skin-of-our-teeth time alotment was unruly behavior on the part of the two children I was planning to take out for the treat this morning.
At 10:30am both kids were hanging on the doorknob to the garage having a screaming war about who was going to exit first and get out of my way you're stepping on my toes and if I scream very loudly and break the sound barrier then you'll be the one to get in trouble and it went on and on and on. I checked the movie schedule, found that the next show was starting at 11:30am and put them both on strict probation with a strong serving of the fear of God for good measure. Don't mess with the pregnant mama.
By 11:00am my perfectly well behaved, direction following angels and I boarded the car (which by the way is repaired and good as new) and headed to the theater. We spent an unholy amount of money to get in and buy snacks because for cryin' out loud when you go to the movie you eat snacks even if they do cost you a year's wages. Or because you didn't have time to stop by the dollar store and get cheap snacks to stash in your purse undetected by the ticket taker.
At 11:30 the previews began. Between each one, when the theater went dead silent Spicey shared her commentary with the audience, all eight of us who made it to "Cars" before noon. It went something like this:
"How To Eat Fried Worms, rater PG, starts playing . . . . "
Spicey: Ew worms! Thass eecky! Thass eecky, Mommy!
"Charlotte's Web, rated G, coming to theaters December 2006"
Spicey: The piggy, Mommy! The piggies cooot. Iss cooot piggie.
"Monster House, rated PG, starts playing . . . "
Spicey: Thass skehwee. Skehwee house. Aaaaaaaah! (mimicking the kids screaming in the preview)
And on and on throughout the the five hundred previews. There is no quieting this child. She refuses to grasp the concept of "shhh" or whisper, or the please use your quiet voice pleadings. So of course this sporadic, excited commentary went on through various parts of the movie. I did my best to subdue her, but then I realized, Hey, this is a kid's movie. There are kids here to watch it. She's not being majorly disruptive, just briefly exclaiming over certain parts. Relax . . . I thought to myself as she eagerly exclaimed over the Leaning Tower of Tires. "Dires, Mommy! Dires!" [with mouth full of popcorn].
And then came the shushing. From about 5 rows up. I distinctly heard it after Spicey mentioned something about dires, look at the dires, Mommy. And then again when I took my big pregnant self and Spicey to the restroom. The distinct and purposeful "Shhhhhhhhhhhh!". And AGAIN when we (and others) were collecting our stuff while the last of the credits were rolling. Are you kidding me? Really? You go to a children's movie and expect that there will be no childish disruptions? It's not like she was standing in her chair or running around or making excessive non-stop noise.
The moral of the story? When you go to a children's movie do not be shusher. If you are a shusher it would be best if you did not attend a children's movie. Just don't go. Truly. Go to a grown-up movie and shush over something worthwhile like a ringing cell phone or something. Or better yet, if you are a shusher I challenge you to stop for one second and remember what it was like to parent a toddler who is experiencing most things in life for the first time. Oh wait, you were probably one of those people who had perfect robot children. Nevermind.
And buy your snacks at the dollar store. Way cheaper.
Was the movie good? Very. Very cute, fun, and child friendly. There wasn't one line that made me cringe and think, "I hope he didn't pick up on that". However 1 hour 56 minutes was reeeeeeelly pushing it for my two-year old. Maybe not yours, but definitely for mine. Despite the long movie and the uptight shusher we had a great time.
25 comments:
Oh, thanks for the great laugh out loud. I needed that.
Had I been sitting five rows up, I would have laughed at the commentary - it's adorable.
There are WAY too many shushers in this world. And I would recommend NetFlix for them. We'd all be happier that way, because don't you find that even if it's not your child they are shushing, pretty soon the shushing is more disruptive than what they are trying to get to be quiet?
"Robot children" made me laugh. I'm sure not raising that kind of child.
Yeah, I don't get that. When I went to see "Over the Hedge" This guy kept giving the kids around him the evil eye. I pointed him out to my brother. The brother LOUDLY proclaimed for all the here tht this was a kids movie and if the adults without kids didn't expect to be disrupted by kids then they (meaning the adults) were probably in the wrong theater. I wanted to crawl under the seat. The guy then glared at my brother. His date however looked at him and said he was right. I then laughed and promptly choked on my popcorn.
As you've probably guessed, my brother doesn't care who is within ear shot.
I however feel thta any movie like tat is only enriched by the chatter of the wee ones.
You should have told them some not so nice words. Or at least thought about telling them. Ok, dreamed about telling them and then blogging about it.
I would have been THINKING some not so nice words, that's for sure!
Glad you enjoyed it in spite of the wet blanket.
Mary, mom to many non-robots
oooooo! I can't wait to see Cars.
Must be some of the same adults who stalk the Hot Wheels isle at Target and get annoyed when my boys are excited at the cars. They need an grown-up Hot Wheels isle and a kid isle. Apparently they need a disclaimer on G movies now...Warning, contains excitable children who have not yet learned the art of the whisper, but who don't carry annoying cell phones."
I LOVE going to kids movies and hearing all of the giggles and exclamations. That's the best part. Shushers should not be permitted to enter.
WHATEVER. I would have just yelled back, it's a kid's movie, there are kids here. Deal with it! That person needs to be shot. Ok, just kidding. My FIL says that alot. Just had to say that for effect. But seriously, that person needs to get a grip.
Ditto. (on the noise cuteness/decibel factor is NOBIGDEAL)
Ditto. (on the fact that it was the first kids movie I think we have ever seen that was actually a kids movie - my husband and I loved it)
And Ditto on the movie length. (my three year old car-loving son actually fell asleep the last 20 min.)
So cute.
Kids shows that run during the day are so designed for KIDS!!! And kids just by the nature of their little beings just make noise!! I hope you had a grand time in spite if shussers and the over-the-top cost of goodies!!
yeah, weird. at a kids movie in the late morning?! clearly, this is prime time for kiddos, it's not like you went to the midnight showing. some ppl. are weird.
Sheeeshhhh, shushers! So sheepishly shtoopid.
I just finished reading the past few days of posts (don't know if I'm caught up or not cause I only got through a few...)
You are so much a part of my reads (when I get to them these days!!!) that when I am not getting to them it causes me to pine!
If you aren't posting even a word then I pray harder for you (really!) and add a little in about giving you a moment or two to say something to us folks out here!
I'm happy to wait for when you do say something. Anything.
You are great at writing. You are moving through some huge things right now and I am amazed at your resilence. Your calm (at least externally if not internally...it does seem deeper then just skin deep) Your desire to do the best for your family even though there is a small expense for it.
Your example is shining!
Thanks for the review on the movie. Spicey is too cute!
Shusher person...you're annoying!
I admire you. Truly. I won't even consider taking Feisty to a movie for quite awhile. It just wouldn't work. She'd be the one being majorly disruptive like you described. Care Bear does OK, but it may be a few years for the Feister.
I may have been a "shusher" years ago before kids, but then again, I wouldn't have been at a kids movie. Good point!
Oh the shushers! That's so wrong! I've been known to be a shusher at a aregular old PG movie when people are talking or making too much noise, but a kids movie? Come on!
Glad to hear I'm not the only one NOT raising a robot child!
We'll be seeing Cars on Saturday, looking forward to it!
I got a laugh especially with the description of planning a surprise and then having great resistance to getting out of the house. I'm on the second generation of doing this! I learned with my kids that you don't tell everything because if it doesn't work out, then you're the bad guy! So now I try to surprise them. But today is library day and we're trying to get out in time for story time - always a challenge!
We're going to try to see that movie today. Down with shushers!!
A shoosher--shouldn't be at a matinee children's movie! Sh--sh--sh--shame on them!
Diane
My two year old is afraid of the volume in the movie theater. We'll have to wait until video.
Shushers in a kids movie what will they think up next?
I would add to that, don't be a shusher at the dollar theater. You only paid a buck.
ok, come back now.
I ditto Tam... and I laugh aloud! I'm not a shusher. I would have thought it adorable her commentary. ;)
Shushers are among the rudest people around in my opinion. What it says to me is "Hey, keep quiet because my ability to concentrate supersedes everything going on around me". Where do these people come from????
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