We broke down and did something new tonight.
We test drove a minivan.
Now don't get me wrong. Minivans are great family vehicles. I have lots of friends who drive minivans, the main one being my sister, and I gotta say that those things are plush little deals on wheels. I LOVE IT when she picks us up to go to yard sales and we throw the kids back there, all safe in the carseats and boosters, pop in a video and everyone is SO happy.
The school parking lot is like a minivan jungle. Everyone has 'em in all shapes and colors. The doors roll open and kids come piling out. If it's a newer model the door quietly slides shut after depositing kids on the sidewalk. P r e t t y n i f t y.
I've just never wanted one for myself.
You see, I fancy myself an SUV kinda gal. Gimme my four wheel drive, sporty wheels and tires, rugged capabilities to tow toys in the mountains, and the ability to go places that other vehicles can't. I can haul big stuff in the back. I like me an SUV. So then what's the deal, you ask? Go buy a Suburban and shut it already.
The big issue we have is this: to accomodate two full size carseats and a booster we'd need a pretty stinkin' huge SUV. This means more gas and whimpy me maneuvering a bus in the Wal-Mart parking lot. Not an idea I savor. We've owned several SUV's and have driven an Isuzu Trooper for the past three years. We love it madly. We'd seriously keep it forever it were a wee bit larger. Just that fact, that we'd keep it to payoff and beyond, is a huge testament to our love for it as Hubs comes from a long line of frequent-car-trader-uppers. The natural thing was to explore the smaller SUV's like the Trooper but with the new fangled third row seat. No dice. It's just not big enough. Cool would be climbing over the seat, throwing his legs and backpack over Baby Bump's head every day in all weather to get back to the third row. It's just not gonna fly, much to our dismay.
So in an effort to really be sure that we were exploring ALL the options for a bigger vehicle we broke down and admitted out loud to one another that we really should look into minivans. Even if just for a few years until Spicey sizes down to a booster seat and can buckle herself in and out. Hubs brother is a big hoo-ha in the used car business around here and he takes good care of us. Since he now sells luxury cars and a $65,000 Land Rover is not in the budget he hooks us up behind the scenes in other ways. Tonight he sent us to see a minivan.
It was nice. We circled cautiously at first and then looked inside. The features? Unbelievable. The space? I think I could slide a fold up foosball table in there. The comfort? Don't get me started. We loaded up the kids and took a test drive. Wowza. I felt a little light headed with giddiness as we cruised quietly and smoothly down the road. Then I looked in the side mirror and was reminded that I was riding in a minivan. So . . . so . . . mommish.
"What's wrong with 'mommish'? " I am forced to ask myself. I am one, after all. I like being a mom. It's a great job. So what's wrong with being mommish? And driving a minivan? I guess it sort of feels like I've traded my new Roxy flipflops for a pair of Easy Spirit lace ups or something. Or Naturalizer comfort fit sandals for bunions complete with reinforced toe pantyhose. Coordinating pants sets with a matching appliqued cardigan. A minivan.
This is crazy. I KNOW this. I do. I seriously couldn't imagine another feature I could dream of in a vehicle that wasn't on this minivan except a shock collar system to keep the kids from arguing. It was plush. It was stylish. It is classy. But something in me, I think, feels like I'm still hanging onto scraps of my younger, cooler pre-children days with the car I drive. Silly. Shallow. I'm aware of this. As I prepare to bust out baby number three I feel this loss of self and inadequacy again, the deep questioning of whether or not I can love another one as much as I love the first two and can I responsibly care for three? Will I ever have time to be me aside from being their mother?
I don't have all the answers and I'm pretty sure that the vehicle I drive and clinging to the past will not determine the answers either. It's time to let go of another preconceived notion and ridiculous high standard that I based on inexperience.
And driving a minivan doesn't mean that I can't crank up a little Bob Marley now and then while the kids watch Veggie Tales on the rear DVD with headphones on.
Right?
22 comments:
You'll be fine...love stretches amazingly!
I'm kinda thinking someday it would be fun to size DOWN to a minivan!!!
Hugs, Mary, mom to many
I drive a sweet little black minivan. Sometimes, when the mommy-ness starts to overwhelm me, I pretend I'm a secret agent riding around in my government-issued bullet-proof black monster-on-wheels. You can just call me Sidney Bristow from now on.
Right. I would so have a minivan if I could afford one. AND I DON"T HAVE KIDS. I guess I should say I can't justify the cost with just me. For now, I just barrow my parents. They have a Toyota Sienna and I love it. I currently drive a RAV4 and I ahve got to say it's pretty sweet. You'll do fine in a minivan. After you get use to it you'll wonder how you lived without it. And what's a minivan without a little Bob Marley? Personality Baby... it's got personality.
(there were too many typos in the last comment)
I have the same "thing" about minivans. We recently bought a Ford Freestyle - the non-van/kinda wagon/almost SUV. Good gas mileage, and it has an extra roomy third row seat and isn't so hard to get into spaces at Wal-Mart, plus the seats all fold down flat to haul things. And it looks like a lot of other she-she models of the same type. We have two kids right now, but I can see it working for three, even with the carseats/boosters, etc. You might check it out if you're not sure about the minivan yet...
But minivans are the new chic. Splurge for leather seats (which I am starting to think is not a splurge with kids in the car) and you'll feel all snazzy.
The day you start wearing the "Naturalizer comfort fit sandals for bunions complete with reinforced toe pantyhose", is the day all civilization ends!
Mini-van: totally do-able and it wasn't so long ago that those "chevy vans" even had a song about em'! Good Lord, those things were hideous BTW...today's mini-vans are MUCH improved and I loved riding in my Mommy-sisters and my Grammy-Moms...all the time!
I love my minivan! The only thing it doesn't have is the DVD player - and we're going to need it on the way to the reunion! Care Bear was so funny when we first got it (I got it for my back as much as anything - grandma, you know) - she missed my Buick! I never liked the Buick - it was an "old lady" car and even though I'm getting there, I don't feel like an old lady yet. I want to get my 1969 Mustang back!
Yes, you can get past it. And you'll never go back. My mini-van is red, for that very reason--a little bit of sportiness for an otherwise mommish car.
I test drove a minivan a few years ago and loved it. shoulda bought it, and I don't even have carseats to think about!
That's why I bought my bug. So I wouldn't have to be "mommish" once in a while!!!
I'm with Mary. I can't really remember what it was like to drive something that didn't call for the nickname "the BEAST".
You will totally get over it. Just get yourself a funky steering wheel cover. That'll do it.
That van sounds like a sweet ride. I love my van. It's great for carpools or girls' night out or hauling things around.
We also have a 1980s Mercedes that we like to drive when we go on a date, or anyplace else without all the kids.
Dude, I can't tell you how much I cracked up reading this...you sound JUST LIKE ME!!! As it stands I have had a "flame red" Jeep Cherokee sport for 5 years and I am so desperately in love with it. It'll be a squeeze to get the 2 giant carseats in this fall but it'll have to do. The minivan is definitely a smooth ride (my mom's been driving them for ages, even with no kids at home) but I agree with you, it's just soooooooo "mommish." Can't wait to see what you decide! :)
Ugh. I don't want a minivan either but I don't know if I'm an SUV kinda girl either.
We need a bigger car for our road trips and I'm a little in love with the Pacificas.
Anyone else own one? Do you like?
One of the things I love about my minivan is that is spans all classes! The vehicle does not scream a negative income level like the 20-yr old brown station wagon!! They are comfy, spacious, will hold all the kids stuff and the parents get to ride in uncramped style! I know there is a certain perceved stigma about minivans - but there is a time that comfort and space have just got to come first!!
I know EXACTLY how you feel. Minivans feel like my parent's era. My hubby is against all gas guzzling SUV's and I love my subaru station wagon. (I wanted this wagon even before I had kids!) I just can't do the minivan.
Suuuuure, sure you'll get past it. Then comes the high-waisted mommmy jeans and you will come to think that blue eyeshadow has come back in style and perms. Of course when you drive a minivan, you will never go back because suddenly comfort, space and driving up higher seems safer. By slowly treading there, it will all seem normal :) (he he he, me bad - I'm sure I'm next in line to get a minivan but I'm holding out as long as I can!)
I know I know I Know!! I will have the same hangup when our turn comes. THe whole being too mommish thing is something I think about all the time. Take for instance my hair right now- way too close to mommish- it just needs to grow fast! Whatever you decide- a minivan will not squelch your style or spunk. I like your take on it being just for awhile. Nothing has to be forever!!
Wow! That was exactly my thought process a year and a half ago. We were having baby number two, and all we had were two compact cars, so we had to move up to fit in both carseats. I refused flat out to test drive a minivan and we ended up getting an almost-minivan (the Buick Rendezvous - don't even get me started on how much our friends made fun of us for driving a Buick as a minivan might have been easier). Now, in retrospect, I'm wishing I'd talked myself down and just gone with the minivan. The Buick is actually great, but I see reasons all the time why a minivan would have suited us better. I'm sure our next car will be one. I still cringe to think of it, but I'm getting over it.
Ahhh, the minivan. I drive a Tahoe, LOVE it. It is a gas guzzler, and we are only a 1-child family, but it holds all the cousins and grandparents and the lucy-dog and friends and camping gear and kayak and it tows. I think the gas guzzling thing is the only drawback. But I do love me Tahoe!
I'm an SUV kinda gal myself - who in December, because of my own baby bump #3, bought a minivan. You're shoe analogy kills me, by the way! And while the fact that we can fit multiple sheets of 4x8 plywood in the back when all the seats are out/down has "up"ed my husband's standing at the local Home Depot, I've seen no benefit so far. I mean, yes, it's a sweet ride. If you like bunion control and matching pantsiuts. I feel your pain. Good luck with your choice.
So, did you take the minivan plunge? Huh - did you, really, huh!? huh!!? DO tell, girlie! Also, CURACKED UP at the shock collar thing and the shoe entourage... you and your shoes - I am STILL cracking up... EEEEZ Speer its... reinforced toe... crack. ing. up!
It's kind of like when we bought the brown station wagon (negative income style, for sure). I could no longer hide the fact that I was mommish.
We have TWO minivans. Yes, my husband cruises to work everyday in style. Really the only downside I can see to driving a minivan is CONSTANTLY being hit on by hot, young, single men. Minivans totally turn them on! That and people wanting to race you in their hotrods a lot. Boy are they embarassed when I leave them in the dust!
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