I distinctly remember as a child looking up at my mother, who I thought to be exceptionally beautiful, and asking her, "Mommy, what's it like to be a grown-up?" She shrugged and said something along the lines of "I don't know. Just like normal I guess. It doesn't really feel like anything." But I was never satisfied with that answer. I mean, really, what did it feel like to be so tall, to not have to ask for stuff, to eat snacks whenever you want, and choosing your own bedtime?
Sometimes I surprise myself by remembering with a strange dawn of realization that I'm a grown-up. This is my grown-up life. This is what it's like. I look around at my house, I reflect on my past and I think to myself, "Mmhmm . . . this must be what it's like. I'm really a grown-up. I married that person that I always wondered about. I have my own house. I drive a car. I gave birth twice. I have two real live children in my possession. This is my life. Yessirree, I am a grown-up."
My son asked me recently why his dad and I don't have to ask for stuff. I found myself in my mom's old shoes, not sure how to answer. I mean, how do I explain that there's no one to ask, that I don't have to ask, and no I am not going to ask him for permission to eat a snack? You'd think after all these years spent working towards being a grown-up that I would have come up with a more suitable, more legit answer but I have not.
I second that old cliche that says "Youth is wasted on the young". We spend so much time trying to get to the next big thing that we forget what is really magnificent about being where we are at that point in time. While I really look forward to my kids achieving various milestones I hope that I don't anticipate away the precious ages that they are now. They will be doing enough of that on their own very soon.
11 comments:
Yay! I'm the first comment. Amazing how we suddenly wind up singing lullabies and hushing cries with our mother's voice, and fulfilling professions and being us. :) Amazing how we become who we always were becoming, when we didn't know what that was.
That was a great post Karen. I sometimes do the same type of reflecting. Remembering when I used to wonder what my kids would look like and who I would marry.
Love it!
Well said. I feel this way all the time.
I was in a Bible study with Gloria Gaither once and she said, "We get so busy doing that we forget the process of becoming". That process for me is living in the daily. I hope I do that.
Nice post, Sweetie.
I wonder all the time if I'm a grown up yet...and often think that once I'm married with babies I'll really feel that way. Not the case, huh? Darn. That's okay, I guess..I don't really ever want to grow out of Kelly Clarkson dance parties and afternoon naps.
It is quirky that I happened upon your post today...I had found myself reflecting on "being a grown-up" today and trying to correlate that with my reflection in the mirror...it's almost as though one day I was planning out my future and then turned around and here I am!! Quite different than I had planned, but extremely happy and content with where I ended up...yet still wondering "how did I get here so fast???"
This really got me thinking. I do so often wish away the wonderful times I could/should be having in my life. I always compliment Laylee on being so BIG but when I think about it, do I really want her to keep getting big or would I rather just enjoy her in this phase of life.
Deep thoughts......
Very well said Karen.
When I was actually a young mom, I made friends with a woman from our congregation who was in her 70s. She was absolutely wonderful. One day I said to her, "Beth, when I grow up I want to be just like you." Her reply was, "Oh, Honey you don't have to grow up to do that." So I never have and I'm kind of glad.
so true...great post. I imagined it forever, and here I am, but still feel like I'm not there yet.
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