Wowza.
I don't know if I've ever had that many comments in one post or had my ego stroked so nicely. Thanks for all the thoughts you left. I wanted to highlight part of a comment left by Stephanie at Adventures in Babywearing.
Being on the leading edge of parenting you may find yourself explaining to
others why you parent the way you do. This can be a good thing when
someone has expressed curiosity about it and you're simply sharing information.
But it's better not to explain yourself if you're trying to justify your
choices. Justifying gives away your power. It implies that you need the
other person's approval. It undermines your self-confidence and distances you
from your Inner Guidance. The need to explain and justify your choices is
based on the need to be right. But if your parenting choices are "right" and the
other person would parent differently then she must be "wrong." Once you get in
that right/wrong mode, conflict or interpersonal tension is inevitable.
Instead of explaining your parenting to others silently remind yourself that
your choices are right for you and your own approval is all you need.
From THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
I'm not sure what that whole "Inner Guidance" thing is all about, sounds kind of Oprah-ish, but those last two lines just really cinch up the whole bag for me. Substitute any word or situation for "parenting" in the last sentence and you could practically have a personal mantra. I really appreciate this thought. Thanks, Stephanie!
Now I will shut it and move on to the other vitally important thought provoking literary wonders I usually pump out weekly: my kids, my belly, and what I'm eating.
The Kids
Cool loves school. But his stuttering is getting worse. It got a little better during the summer but in the last month I've seen a painfully noticeable and frustrating increase. Needless to say, the speech pathology teacher sought me out in the pick-up line yesterday. Every day he piles into the van talking a mile a minute about something sensational that happened that day.
"Jeffrey lost a tooth when he bit a pretzel. Can you believe that?? It's only the second day of school and someone already lost a tooth!" There is nothing he fantasizes about more than losing his first tooth. It's killing him that he still has all his baby teeth.
"Today some boys were chasing us at recess and we told the teacher and they got in trouble and then they disobeyed and chased us again and they had to go to the office." You can imagine what Mother Bear was doing during this story.
"Rocio lost a tooth! The second week of school and Rocio lost a tooth! Well, not at school, it happened at home but she told us all. about. it." Again, more sensational tooth stories.
"I forgot to get my lunchbox after recess and then it was gone and I don't know where the lost in found is. We have to get a new lunch box." I told him I wouldn't be buying a new lunchbox. He could carry a paper sack. His response? "What's a paper sack?" Uh. Yeah. Luckily we tracked the lunchbox down safe and sound. Heaven forbid he should carry a weird paper sack to school with his lunch in it. Gasp.
The best part of his story telling is the facial expressions and hand gestures that accompany the story. Love it.
Last fall I had a friend with a home daycare watch Spicey one morning a week. Then she stopped watching kids and I never found anyone to replace her. My cousin's wife, Amanda, watches a few children and agreed to have Spicey over one morning a week. Today was her first day. She had a GREAT time. It was a major inner struggle whether or not to go do something fun in the free time or be responsible and do the grocery shopping. Grocery shopping won but it was good to do it a l o n e. Next week I'm helping in Cool's classroom, that will be really fun.
The Belly.
Seriously, I think I'm giving birth to an elephant. The comments, People. The comments! Will no one shut up around here about the size of my belly?? So I'm getting out of the van today at Wal-Mart and across the way is an older Hispanic woman smiling wide at me. The conversation went like this:
Her: Oooh! Going to be mama soon!?
Me: Oh yes!
Her: Aaah. How soon?
Me: Two months (Total fib. I really have three.)
Her: Oooh. Ees going to be big baby, no?
Me: Yes.
Her: Congratulations!
Me: Thank you. (Through gritted smiling teeth)
When even the kindly abuela in the parking lot is saying it you know you are in trouble. If I had $5.00 for every comment I get about my size this child would have a college fund. My mom says that people just forget how big a woman gets in her third trimester and to just ignore it. I'm trying. I now carry a stun gun in my person because clearly the brick is no longer adequate.
And I get to take that glucose screening over again tomorrow.
In other big bellied news, I can hardly walk. I'm not exaggerating or being funny. I really can hardly move. I've talked to my doctor, the nurse, and several friends- one of whom has done this four times. They all tell me it's normal and that it is because everything is all "lose" inside. Lovely. I was told to try one of those support belts. Any personal testimonies about those? All jokes aside, I really am having trouble walking and I'm pretty concerned about it.
The Funk seems to be simmering on the back burner for the last week or so. I'm holding my breath. I'd sure like it to stay there for awhile. Like, say, mmmm, forever?
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
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16 comments:
Have you tried standing on your head to relieve some of that pressure? lol - but seriously, I know the absolute LAST thing in the known universe you want to do right now is to put on a swimming suit, but if you could get to an indoor pool in Smalltown (you know the place) and just sit in the pool for a an hour or so your joints would feel sooooooo much better. WARNING!!! Do NOT, I repeat DO NOT look in the mirror once you have put on the swimming suit because although your joints will feel great and your aches will be gone, your self esteem will probably go right along with it :-) And, in my case, after I had each baby the pain just went completely away - We are talking instant relief. Hang in there!
So...when I said I bet he's gonna be a big baby today...that really didn't help?
Sorry. You know I love you!
I personally do not think you are huge. I've certainly seen MUCH larger, in fact yesterday at Walmart...she was MUCH bigger. I know it's terrible to focus on someone else's baby carrying ability, but it seems to help. I thought you looked very cute and quite stylish for an early Tusday morning=). Good to finally see you.
There is nothing like a good Big Trade-Off update post. Always a fun read. I love your description of Cool after school. He sounds just precious.
what about the bella band you bought early on in your pregnancy? will that help the support?
and I solemnly vow and promise to never comment on the size of an expectant mother's belly again. On my coffee cup's honor.
are you really THAT big? wink wink
Frankly and speaking as someone who has never experienced childbirth firsthand...what 'wigs' me out more than a big belly at 6 months...is a flat belly at 6 months...I mean where is the baby? Of our 6 or 7 pregnant women at church 1 who is due in Novemberish? isn't even showing....What's that about? Of course she shares that she's gone from a size 2 to a size 3...so perhaps it's a teensy tinsy baby...like thumbellina?
Thanks for sharing the Cool and Spicey Report! I so look forward to their doings.
I used one of those support thingies, mostly because I was carrying a big baby and my back ached.
Once I figured out how to arrange all the straps and got over the fact that it made me even hotter, it did offer some relief.
I got mine from a physical therapy office, I'm not sure where else you can buy them...
I found just resting as much as you can was the best thing. Take lots of sitting/lying down breaks. I remember I had pains, especially down one leg,cuz of my big boy. I embraced people telling me it was gonna be a big kid by telling them that we have football players in our family or I used to say I'd have a sumo wrestler in there, that it comes from the japanese side of my family. People always gave me double looks but I'd keep smiling. (There is absolutely no japanese blood in my family tree even though my name is Maki).
Hi I am new to your blog, came over from the Daring young mom.
Don't you just LOVE the comments you get from people. My second pregnancy was twins. When I was about 24 weeks along my husband wound up in the ER from an accident at work. While I was there with him I had several people ask if I was okay. Apparantly I was so enourmous that they all assumed I was in the ER because I was in labor. That was at 24 weeks.
I used one of those belts for my last pregnancy (3rd time around). A friend loaned me hers, she got it from Motherhood Maternity. It really did help.
I was only 5 months pregnant and a woman at the mother's day out asked
"you are having another one?"
"yes"
"any day now, huh?"
"No, actually I still have several months to go."
"Oh, well..." (awkward silence)
I can't tell me how many people asked if i was sure that there was only one in there.
Believe in Karma, it's the only way to keep from harming someone :)
My comment is about baby teeth, not about big babies! Tell Cool that Anakin did not lost a single tooth until the end of SECOND GRADE!
(delurking here) I could hardly walk with my second. Turns out I had a painful varicose vein running through a place that it had no right to run through. The belt helped to ease the weight on it. I wore it faithfully. I lend it to almost every pregnant woman I know.
I took that "inner guidance" thing to be like, mother's instinct maybe? But yeah- you can take from it what you like... I thought it really did hit the spot for what I was trying to figure out just where I stand in the parenting matter!
Be proud of the size of your belly! I was teeny with my son and it turned out that was for a not-so-good reason (yes, his Down syndrome does seem to come up in every comment I leave in anyone's blog). I had people at the car service place asking when I was due and when I said next week their eyes popped out of their skulls. They thought I had months to go. So, other side of the coin, not so good.
I was huge too. My own mother made comments. I actually felt like my kid was going to either pop through my belly button or out the other way- too soon. I didn't even gain a ton of weight. I was just HUGE. Truly, I think some babies just stick out more, instead of being carried up and down.
So, you aren't alone. Try one of those belts and see how it works. I wish I had.
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